"You Love Me, Real or Not Real?" ... "Real."

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately. I do that a lot in general but it feels like I’ve given my life a lot A LOT more thinking than I normally do. I’ve watched dozens of other people going through it through the last 3 years, but as soon as I hit the submit to graduate Capital University with a Psychology degree I kind of think I panicked… Yeah, I know… I panic a lot. I don’t really know if it matters much that I panic, but I still had this moment in my life where I was like… I don’t know what the steps are after this. Sure I want to go to graduate school, yes I want to make a decent living, and I’ll eventually get married and have kids and then you know the story from there. That all sounds a little scripted and like I’m following a treasure map, but shit happens we grow up and we go on with our lives. 

BUT  what happens if I don’t get into graduate school? What if I’ve wasted up to 8 years and I find out that I HATE my career… (not likely) but seriously. I’m 21 years old… How in the hell am I supposed to just KNOW what I want to spend the next 40-60 years doing? The answer is I DON’T I’m just putzing around until I find my end goal. This blog will more than likely not have any damn bit of help or relevance to anyone… if anyone even reads it but I am so So SO freaked out by this whole graduation thing. 

What am I going to be doing next year at this time?

I have no idea, I just suppose I have to leap and not look and hope to God that when I hit the water there aren’t any jagged rocks waiting for me. I’m not ready. I’m not going to pretend I am… 

<3 Confused and Overwhelmed Student